I've been e-mailing this guy I met via one of them online services. At first I was pretty psyched about him, but then started to level out. (I have to emphasize that I really, really, really want someone who's funny, too, and he says outright that he spends most of his time serious.) Anyhoo, today I get this from him:
Yeah, it was a good turnout, maybe not as many as in year's[third time he's misused the apostrophe this way, and he's a freelance writer] past, but still good: a couple thousand, maybe. Where are you going away for work this weekend? Going to be anywhere near Myrtle Beach? Probably not, huh. Bummer. ... Hey, I'm looking for good pick up lines to use on the beach. Are you familiar with the Brad Pasley song "Ticks"? In the song, he sings about meeting this girl at a bar and wanting to walk with her in the woods, and he sings, "I want to check you for ticks." What if I approached a cute girl on the beach and said, "I want to check you for sand fleas." Good idea? Don't answer that. I never was very smooth with the pick up lines. Talk to you later.
...mm hmm. Whatever his reasons for saying that, I think we can safely file him away under "no dice/idiot/hey, what's that shiny thing over there?" (I'm thinking of responding with something along the lines of "Yes, definitely say that. Definitely if you want a punch in the face." Except I don't want him to think I'm insinuating that I want to punch him in the face, cos I don't care enough.)
Actually Jenny came up with the perfect reply:
Dear Brian,
You have no idea how much time this e-mail saved me.
Have fun at the beach,
Cree
6 comments:
What could you possibly have in common with a guy who references a country music song and asks for pickup lines? What an idiot.
With today's new information in hand, whoever you are, I concur!
Though I really have nothing against country music itself. There's plenty of good stuff in there.
Wait a minute, are you trying to say that not all country music is made by inbred hicks who only yodel about bars called The Oasis and pickup trucks?
Well that shatters my decades old misconceptions!
I wanna check you for gummi bears!
OMG, my brother told me about that song the other day, and he said it was funny and I should listen to it one day. If this guy is anything like my bro, run -- run far, far away. Like you never have before, in year's past.
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