All My Eggs in One Well-Concealed Basket

When I was a freshman in college, I didn't get my period for six months. When I finally did again, I got it BAD. So the following summer I was in for a flight of tests and doctor visits. One trip was to get a sonogram of my babymakin' parts. Unfortunately this required having a very full bladder, which had me in tears at one point, till the dixie cup.

The techs who were doing the ultrasound were baffled by my Period of No Period. "Are you SURE you weren't pregnant?" they repeated, as if it were upsetting them. As if a virgin had never walked into their room o' TVs and shiny gadgets before and they couldn't understand the concept. Good gods, ladies, HOW SURE DO YOU WANT ME TO BE? I can guarantee you the second coming ain't coming through me.

Then they couldn't find my ovaries.

(I HID them!)

(The end result of all this? The cause was attributed to "the stress of going to college." Even though I wasn't actually stressed. See, bodies don't like change sometimes, even the good kind. Learn from my example, boys and girls. When you go to college, give your reproductive bits some extra-special attention. Buy them treats.)