The twentieth of nevah

Well this sure has been a day or two. (Oh, there's some philosophical thinking. Yes, you may borrow it; people will be so impressed. "Did you get that from 'The Daily Show'?" they'll ask as they touch you gently, hesitantly, and sigh just a little.) Humidity makes me fell like dung. Not crap, poop or the s-word; dung. My muscles ache and tense up and it's just a lot of ick. It's one of the things that made me so miserable in Florida. Here, it's been around 60 and humid as all get-out the past few days, so by last night I was just a physical wreck.

But my hair looked great!

I volunteered at this Cornell event, a glee club/chorus concert. The concert was cool, but by the end I just felt -- icky. And I guess it made me feel alone, seeing all those people together, families, old and lifelong friends, generations of Cornellians, people who had spent their lives together after meeting at Cornell. I left feeling like physical, emotional and mental offal.

(Maybe I can work "effluvium" in here somewhere.)

I went to bed almost right away, after doing as few of my general nightly things as I thought I could get away with.

This morning, still bleh. I cleaned the litter boxes, and Fathom was apparently peeing lots and in wee bits again. Otter had peed on the floor in the entryway. Add this to the dungness and having felt crappy the whole rest of the night, and I thought I might completely lose it. "I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE ANYMORE!!" I hollered to the gods, who I knew were listening, just ... smirking? Blake said it would be March. I don't know that I can make it to March. "They are just cards, after all," she pointed out. But my gut says It Will Be a While. I headed off to Collegetown Bagels and the Statler pretty unhappy, but resigned.

During my second Cornell volunteering stint, I decided I would take myself to lunch; even though I had planned to spend the rest of the day writing this big thing I have due this week, I couldn't face it. I needed to get away from Cornell, from work, from Plantations, for a bit.

It was a little after 2 when I left the Statler, and -- my stars, it was beautiful out. The humidity was GONE, washed away by cool winds, released by clearing skies into the stratosphere; there was actually blue to be seen. "You can relax. You can feel better now," I told my body, and by the time I got to my car, it did.

I went to the Boatyard Grill, had the Chilean sea bass, and went to Taughannock. I even had a wee bit of a headache starting, a needle in my skull, but I knew the only thing for it was cool wind and walking and falling water.

Is it just the weather, then? I never used to think it affected me, but damn, lately, I tell ya. I'm all right now. I'm good again. Haven't stumbled across the love of my life yet, but ... it's almost OK again.

... almost.