AP, London, 12:47 GMT--ROWLING TAKES BOOK 7 IN A WHOLE NEW DIRECTION
Famed and pretty-haired Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has revealed that she's tired of the whole Voldemort thing. "Really, I love this kid. I can't kill him off. And his friends? Well, what's life without your friends?"
The final book will be mostly about candy and sitting around by the fire with your cat(s).
"'[title deleted to protect the innocent]' will be something butterscotchy, or maybe a nice hot chocolatey drink," the lassie is currently claiming.
"Really, who doesn't love some chocolately delight?" she smiles, and stares off out the window.
"What will happen to Voldemort?" she says, repeating a green reporter's question while the others glare at him. "Oh, I don't know, maybe a retirement home or a clerk's job at Tesco. Any ideas?"
Children the world round reacted with befuddlement, then shrugs.
"I like butterscotch," said Southhampton tike Isobel Tannings. "I can live with this."
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