The first Pirates movie was SO good. So surprisingly, wonderfully good. It was good because of the snappy dialogue and the characters. Also the monkey.
The monkey may remain, and there are people bearing the same names as the original characters from movie 1, but the only thing snappy about At World's End was the sound of pieces of my heart breaking off as the film trod on everything that was good in the world. I still feel the stink of it on me a day later
I couldn't even tell you what happens in it. Betrayals and pirates from all over the world in ugly makeup and the destruction of a really cool character by applying a Honey I Blew Up the Kid factor.
My parents taught me never to hate anyone, but I come close with Bruckheimer. Just cos you can doesn't mean you should, you slimy overpaid peabrain.
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I wouldn't go near this film with anything but a flame thrower (and that would just get me kicked out yet another Regal multiplex for "movie-going behavior unbecoming"). I made the mistake of seeing the first sequel to this film. Had it not been a shared experience at the drive-in, with its joyous people-watching activities to distract us from the onslaught of rambunctious CGI sans storyline, my brain might very well have imploded, leaking from my ears on onto the bucket seats.
Bruckeimer isn't the only one at fault here. Millions of drones flock to his films, paying him millions of dollars so he can turn around and produce more drivel.
Although, if one disables the Borg leader...
The first one was so good because it was meant to be a fun standalone. Why on earth they felt that they had to shoehorn seven movies worth of heretofore unreferenced plot and characters and "world-shaking importance" into the next two is beyond me.
Despite its many flaws, though, for me nothing in this one was as bad as that horrible extended cannibal sequence in movie two. Circus music, I ask you. Circus music.
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